i am wearing a happy mask

After two days i asked you , i lost my confidence to talk with you . When i am with friends i just smile , after that i am a lost puppy. My feeling now is so despair . Really want to forget you ???

i shouldn't ask her

Today midnight i called her , i am ready to ask her do i has a chance to together with her .  I called her around 12 something . After that i told her that i has a question but dunno should ask or not , so i told her i will sms her about the question now . I sms her , about i got chance or not . I'm wait , wait , wait , i sms her . I feel that she wants to avoid me TT it's so sad . 

i should not ask you 

now i am regretting 

i really love her 

i really really so hurt and sad 

i should forget you early 

but 

you are so hard to forget 

my heart now 

not bleeding 

not crying 

but is in pieces 

i love you nys 

i swear 

My friends stories

Jun mun , he tried a lot of times to get back Shemun however she wants with Tzer shuang , i just can comfort Jun mun ask him to forget . If it so easy forget , i already done it long time . In this case , i just can keep giving my opinion like , forget her , get a new life , do not wait for her . However i cannot do this to her ... Some how ,Hong zhe also . He love a girl but he cannot get her because she already couple. I also ask him to forget .... But the problem is i also same as them . Timothy love a girl is our class. He is trying to ask her for couple when the right time . the girl told him that she lies someone , but he wants to try .

In life

we will not learn appreciate

after we lost it

we know what is appreciate

and how to appreciate .

this is what Jun mun finally realize that , he lost her , now he is suffering ...

Life does not take 2

when we confuse

who we like

or do we like

maybe at that time the person who we like

have already do not like us .

Hong zhe and the girl at first both of them like each other , but just because Hong zhe thinking too long and miss the chance .

I ...

still the one who thinking

should i continue like her

or

actually i like others?

this is what make guys always lost in love

Love could be sweet,

it also could be bitter .

Love does not teach us how to know who we love,

but it teach us how it feeling like .

Love is a thing that make guys,

always lost a lot of thing .

i miss the chance to see her again

Today i promised wei en and jun mun join the run at SABS but my whole body is pain, so i didn't run . This is the result of friday went gym did too much and following day i went training . After that i told jun mun that i cant come because my legs pain , at that time i get know she went it . Is that call fate?

should i forget about her?

It had been so long i didn't talk with she or sms . One day pui yee asked me about couple , however i asked her think twice , another reason is i still like her . Although i has feeling toward pui yee but it too fast for me . It just like there has a butterfly , has a kid keep running , just for catch it . At the same time he wants to catch the bee too. The bee fly around him , but he feel it dangerous for him. The kid is me , but who is the butterfly and who is the bee ? My heart is empty , maybe the heart is not around me but is with her .

People always said that love,

you always wont feel the pain ,

you can survive .

Yet it is truth ,

you cant feel the pain

but

your heart does.

You can survive ,

but

you survive with broken heart

So should i just end this ?

When i still like you deeply?

When i still hope you will come with me?

or

I just let it goes,

let time help me,

help me this kid ,

let me don love her ,

or continue love her .

i love you , since year 1

we same class at 6u too

i am just you protective color

the thing i wanted to tell you ,

He said it first.

Ever since then,

I only can speculate

Your tears are for happiness .

The thing that i wanted to gave you ,

he gave it you you first .

Ever since then ,

i only can take in.

Loneliness and love ,

could have been separated.

Giving you my blessing is my protective color.

Focus on playing a friend .

The moment you two embraced ,

my heart split in to two .

Lying to you is my protective color .

Willing to be a crowd in love .

As long s real love doesn't die,

then i can run far away.

Waiting is my duty .

The road getting windingly,

i can't turn back anymore.

Those can hurt me,

are those i love .

What is there to protect ??

loving you is devine choice

A bitter day ... (16/7/2011)

A bitter day, it will all get erased like this

It will all be forgotten someday

I might smile when the time comes

But I guess I can’t help it right now

Even though the weather is great, my mood is not

I think you’re teasing me, and I get mad

I struggle because of these situations I can’t handle

The exact opposite of me, the world continues spinning as if nothing happened

You were living just fine

It’s not fair, this is unfair

People who look at me while passing by pity me

Nothing goes right

I missed the place where I was supposed to get off at this morning

Because I suddenly thought of you, I got off at a lonesome station

Because it seemed lonely today of all days, tears just kept falling

I walked for a long time like that

I miss you, who I’ve been only hating, yet again

Because the days when I was weak with no strength to hold onto you were so pathetic

A bitter day, it will all get erased like this

It will all be forgotten someday

I might smile when the time comes

But I guess I can’t help it right now

I can’t do anything

Even though I’m sad because I’m thinking of you again right now

Even though it will be difficult, I’ll keep trying to erase you

No matter what I say, it will sound like an excuse

Even if I say that all of this was for you

Because you were too good for me

Because I was uncomfortable as if I were wearing clothes that didn’t match me

You’re beautiful, but you withered away from me

How do you think I felt while looking at that?

We should have just never started

I shouldn’t have looked into your eyes that first time

I thought I would be carefree once I let you go, but that wasn’t the case

My mind understands that we’ve separated

But my heart doesn’t want to accept it

Missing you and trying to erase you, it repeats every day

I’ll be the one to take all the pain

I’d like it if you were just happy

So that the choice I make now doesn’t go to waste

So that I don’t regret it

I’ll always pray for you

A bitter day, it will all get erased like this

It will all be forgotten someday

I might smile when the time comes

But I guess I can’t help it right now

I can’t do anything

Even though I’m sad because I’m thinking of you again right now

Even though it will be difficult, I’ll keep trying to erase you

It’ll be forgotten little by little

When time passes, I’ll be able to smile and reminisce

Instead of that common saying that time heals everything

Tell me something that actually works

You can receive so much more love than what you got from me

You’re as beautiful as ever

You said we’d be together forever

In the end, we’re the same as others

A bitter day, it will all get erased like this

It will all be forgotten someday

That day will come

second say saw her

Today morning i after breakfast then went to eugene house. W after that went basketball training .It very tiring but it for mssd , so i can stand it . Reach alex house, saw her , with yiang xiang and she actually not so early reach but the yiang xiang call her n ask her comes early then she came. Walau can you just let her reach by what time she wanted to comes? When she looks so lonely and i want talk with her , that why when they having diner , i didn't go eat although i am hungry . So i talked with her . So happy . When eating cake yiang xiang sit with her ...... yiang xiang why you like want whole world girls like you ??? is it? I damn down n wanted to cry . i told wei soon . And he told me , yiang xiang asked him whether i still like her or not. i really want to cry ....................................

made her angry ..... TT

after happily chatting with her yesterday , i was off my computer . After that i using my phone online awhile . She saw it then angry me . She hates people lie to her ... She said few people can make her angry .Why can't i just go sleep ..... I know she is angry me .... When she said never mind but i still know she very angry ....... I am a stupid guy...... I dislike to hurt people ... However it's happened to me ....... What can i do now ?????????

finally , i saw her 10/6/2011

Today i cannot wait for a second , IT been 4 years , i didn't see her face cleanly and nearly . Today i and wei soon talked about his thing while waiting her coming . At last i saw her face , she didn't change at all. She said i noisy , but however i noisy because so long i didn't see her , so many thing to say and don't know where to start . When she said that i didn't give her present , i felt not good toward her , because so long i didn't give her a present although i bought each year after year 6 . So i brought her in to alex's room to gave her present . I took her pictures too^^

lonely lonely lonely

i hope i can got a lot of topics can chat with you . So we can chat very long . Now a day i like speechless , haih don know what i can do now . .... ask her couple ? i planed but don know what or not

ST JOHN AAA EXAM

OMG i haven study my st john and i dunno many thing about st john de leTT how i am going to pass tomorrow.TT

A day which have a lot of funs with her

Today morning i woke up and went to basketball training after that i ran to kota permai . After that i played badminton with alex , ryan , foo, ibrahim , and one more guy which is foo's friend . After awhile i noticed you haven go back home. Thank god haha . haha you keep poked by me . Following , we went gym too. You sit up also cannot done one time, it so fun while u doing it . However it so cute ^^ I think today is i talk with you the most . I wish i can talk with you everyday

i felt your hands are small
instead i feel it special
when you cant wake up
during the sit up
i held your hand
and
pull you up


i keep poke you
because i am nervous
nervous when i see you
i hope you hit me or poke me
because i feel that it is so fun
when we playing

My days

everyday i must chat with you , if not i will feel i have lost a par of my body . Or else i couldn't live . Although i am tired i hope i can chat with you. However i didn't chat with you. This where i no nice to you. I try my best to find topics chat with you. I feel i am going to crazy , just because i want you

she will beloved

she is a pretty girl. She is the sugar i need badly. She is the only medical i need. She is the one when i having problem ,she will let me her warm hands. She is special. She is rare . She is totally different than ordinary person.

What i can do just everyday chat with her , but i scare . I scare i will hurt her feeling . So i just like a silenter , keep silent and protect her

finally we become friend ,mwsy

during 2010 holidays, i am took this holidays to forget what happened in this year , and at the year of 2010 of december you told me you miss me, i was surprise . After that we chat often , then i am realized you still like me , either me . 2011 you suddenly asked me to forget you , i'm so sad , why
?? Why so out of sudden , when valentine's day you said u waiting me purpose but i didn't because i planned to purpose when next few days, it also valentine's day but it is chinese's. You did give me a lot of thing to make me think we are couple, at the end you make it real life . You haven accept me as bf and you just don't know what you want. i felt i am a toy , let u pull n push . When you need me, you will pull me back to you, instead you don't want me you will push me far far a way . I been waiting you for 6 months . Now our story is the end

i think i am crush with you ......ec

i still remember that day , we went sunway , at that moment we don't each other , but i have a sense that you are a good girl . Therefore i wanted to know u well , while i online , i see you on facebook , i will chat with you . Thank god she wont avoid me or ignore . Day by day i found out i have a feeling toward you , what i can do???I not really know you like who but i hope you wont avoid me

what i wanted to know about the truth

My sentiment are confused . What am i writing now , all are truth . I wanted to know why you wrote on your profile' we are end' . Am i did something wrong to you ? My feeling are down . I am enraged toward myself . You say alex cheng siong sing better , indeed . He is better than me. And you suppose not to choose me . I am a heart breaker . So leave me .

I can take this root of empty house ,
but that's not bother me .
I can take few tears from my eyes,
but it is too late.
Rain come in this empty heart,
so easily , without a key.
What hurts the most ,
is being so close .
What i wanted to know,
is just want to know ,
why u wan leave me.
I think is my fault ,
so i want to know what i had done to you .